Leave it Behind

I know you've heard that little saying.

"Less is more."

I'm writing this from a perspective of wanting more positive change in my life.  Positive in what way?  I believe that when things are organized and easy to understand or complete, then I can focus more on the things that I really want to spend time on.  That I'll have more time to make what truly matters happen.  That I can focus more on the people that I love and the things that I love to do.

I've been feeling pretty inspired recently by several people out there on the internet (who are also real life people that I may one day be fortunate enough to meet) who are living life while operating under a minimalist philosophy.  They might still have lots of clothes in their wardrobe, but perhaps they've pared down on their work obligations.  Maybe their closet was completely cleaned out, but now that they have just the basics that they need, they are able to focus more on internal things, about themselves and others, than on the external of what we usually see.

I've been whittling down my closet, getting rid of some things that I don't wear, or that really weren't my style in the first place.  I've been saying "NO" to more obligations that I can take on, in work and in my personal life.  These changes have been small, but I've felt more free now than I have in a long time.  I think that focusing on what matters most, and constantly reminding myself of what that really is, has made me more conscientious of the words that I'm saying, the interactions I am purposefully making, and the actions that I take and others notice.

Fortunately, my kind fiancé Chris is, by his very utilitarian and practical nature, a minimalist in his own regard.  It's nice to find some company in even minor lifestyle changes.  Take a look at the links below for some more information and inspiration, from people who encourage me to be more focused and have less clutter: mentally and physically.

The 10 Most Important Things to Simplify in Your Life

100 Possessions - miss minimalist

Seablanket
Small Notebook
Simplifying the concept of an office - Caroline Joy Photography
Graham Hill: Less stuff, more happiness
Lean Closet Movement - Cuyana Shop

image found here

I've never been a person who shares a lot about clothing or style, but I truly believe that simplification can make life easier, and if I can always like how I'm dressed, all the better!  For some reason, when I was a bit younger, I think I was resigned to thinking that even if I didn't like something in my closet, I had to continue to wear it.  It sounds really simple, but making definitive decisions in a closet is not a daunting task - but it really was for some time!  I've been gradually cutting down and refining, and I feel more me than ever before.  That's a huge step in my growth, and in my happiness.

It is also crucial for my personal style, image, and voice to be consistent throughout my brand and my life.  There's a lot of spill-over from career to personal life, but when can make image seamless across the board, my personality and my personal aesthetic can influence my business in a very positive way, and vice-versa.

Feeling like myself in my current job is something that I really truly struggle with.  I feel like I go to work and have a face there, and I come home and have a different face here.  It's not even truly the face that I'm talking about - it's the clothes, the mannerisms, the conversation, the tone, the everything and anything that makes me myself.  This is something that is a great source of stress for me, and I am working on changing the tone and the circumstances.  But change is slow and small, so for now, this is where I start.

Love and light,

Alyssa

Trouvaille: Education, Glamour, and Surprises Along the Way

On our first day at the Trouvaille Workshop, we found our seats in an elegantly designed room at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel in Grand Rapids, Michigan after we were hugged by Rhi of Hey Gorgeous Events, welcomed, and told to take a sparkling strawberry drink on our way.  We found beautifully styled gifts at our place settings, and we oficially began the two-and-a-half day educational storm of a workshop.

I stole this Juliet from a centerpiece from our welcome dinner.  I couldn't resist!

I am proudly a person who loves to learn.  I love to hear why people think the things that they think, especially if those things are innovative and applicable to my own life.  I was definitely in the right place to hear lots of things that I needed to hear.  Knowledgeable speakers were booked for all three days, educating us about legal issues for creatives, cohesive branding, wholesale floral purchasing, how to form strong relationships with other vendors, and so much more.

Throughout the entire workshop, Rhi was extremely attentive to the needs of the attendees.  She had lots of little surprises along the way for us, and made sure we were well fed and comfortable all the time.  I mean, we had a coffee station available at all times - I definitely appreciated that!  (I also had a major caffeine withdrawal after the workshop, but that's the risk that I took and it was totally worth it.)

King protea, astilbe, veronica, and jasmine vine together in harmony.

I don't want to ruin any of the details for people who are thinking of attending, and I also want to be respectful of the boundaries that lie within workshops and conferences.  Meaning, it wouldn't be fair for me to blab about everything we learned.  That was one of the best things about Trouvaille - since many attendees and speakers were not from the same region, it's a little bit safer to share insider information, because I'm not really competition to someone from San Francisco or Ann Arbor.  I felt privileged and so lucky to learn from some really successful and passionate people throughout the workshop, attendees and speakers alike.

Something new for me was tablescape design and the consideration of 

rental items, such as linens, flatware, glass, and china. 

This was a beneficial part of the workshop - I hadn't had the chance to do this before!

As an attendee, I feel that I was encouraged and forced (in a loving and supportive way) to seriously consider the direction and purpose of Demure Birch Design.  I was given helpful insight and answers when I was confused or curious, and I felt encouraged the entire time.  Like any other workshop, you'll get out of it what you put into it.  I feel like I had so much wonderful, uninterrupted time to seriously consider each topic that was presented to me, which is invaluable to someone who is finding a challenge in "free" time to work on my business, while having a full time job.

The orphan flowers made a beautiful bouquet all together!

I am truly grateful for being able to attend, and I'm so excited for the next one to happen!  Perhaps I'll be visiting Michigan again sooner than I had ever thought.  Will you be attending the next Trouvaille?

Love and light,

Alyssa

MTH Recap Part 3: I am here to ____________.

Core.  Core values.  Core of an apple?  The middle.  Definition below.

core /kôr/ 

     noun

     noun: core; plural noun: cores
     1. the tough central part of various fruits, containing the seeds.
     2. the central or most important part of something, in particular.
         the part of something that is central to its existence or character

See?  It fits.  Your core is intrinsic to you, and while it may change depending on the stage of life you are in, it is solidly in place as a foundation in your life.  At Making Things Happen, we were encouraged to define this for ourselves and to solidify the meaning.

So, Alyssa.  What exactly is your core?

I believe that awareness, education, and preparation can defeat disorder.

I believe that devotion and dedication are fundamental to a fruitful marriage.

I am here to clarify any process that you find to be an obstacle.

I am someone who strives to focus on meaningful essentials.

...and I am revising this as needed.  But I am happy with the current statements, and satisfied by the many revisions it took me to get to this point.

What is your core?

(Sneak peek from the Trouvaille Workshop that I just returned from!)

Love and light,

Alyssa

P.S. MTH Recap Part 1: Filter the Noise and MTH Recap Part 2: Authenticity is Key

MTH Recap Part 2: Authenticity Is Key

In creating a business, in creating a brand, making something tangible and easy to explain, it is so hard to not look to others and straight up copy them.  Seeing success, or at least what looks like success, and wanting it so badly stifles the creativity that I had when I began dreaming up Demure Birch Design.  Not only would it be poor form to copy anyone's anything, but it would be a lie to myself and to prospective clients.  It would be a disservice to those who are pushing me and cheering me on to be anything but myself.

Authenticity is key - one of the many things that was discussed at Making Things Happen.  Once again, Lara Casey said it succinctly and well:

"Consider the opportunities that you are losing by not being authentic to the world."

This one hit me in the gut.  Showing my true self, being authentic and sharing what matters most to me with my clients and with my loved ones is a scary and dangerous move.  The thoughts immediately play out in my head.  What if they don't like me?  What if they change their minds?  What if they disagree with my thoughts?  What if they are not accepting?

And that is where the real human connection is made - in the vulnerability of authentic interaction.  Getting a true glimpse of who a person is, sharing what drives you, communicating your core to others.  This is the heart of true interaction that is authentic.  But it takes a leap of faith and some real courage.

As a person who truly detests small talk, the point of being authentic really rang true to my core.  As an introverted person, I thrive on deep conversations about ideas and things that people think about.  Small talk bores me.  It gives me nothing to latch on to, and it does nothing to spark my thoughts about how I relate to others in this wide world.  But deep conversations, about life and love and the things that you hate and adore, and what changes you think should be made to the world?  Those are just the best.  Those talks tell me who you are.  Those talks develop me as a person.

This is what being authentic is all about.  Sure, small talk is never going to disappear.  But I can't help but think that sometimes the small talk is really just nervousness about judgement from others coming out in word form.  If we stick to the insignificant, we don't necessarily open ourselves up to the criticism or scrutiny of others.  We stay safe.  And the vulnerability of authenticity is so scary!  Why would we venture there?

I need to venture there, and stay there because it feeds my heart and soul and lights my mind on fire.  Authenticity and the deepness of people is amazing territory and I want to explore it all.  

For my business, my authenticity is crucial to offering clients a person who cares deeply about their experience, and not just a person making a buck.  Authenticity is where the love story comes out, the details spill forth, and the day is reflected back to you as, well, you.  Not the perfect painting, but the imperfectly perfect reflection of love.

Love and Light,

Alyssa

MTH Recap Part 1: Filter the Noise

After attending the Making Things Happen Workshop in lovely Chapel Hill, North Carolina, I took several days to process what I had learned and what I heard others say.  Making Things Happen was an emotionally intense goal setting seminar, and attendees were encouraged to stay in focused head space throughout the daily talks from various creatives and also throughout meal times.  The primary focus of this workshop was really diving in and getting to the core of what matters, and harnessing your core to put changes and plans into action.

The quote from the gracious and open founder of the workshop, Lara Casey, particularly resonated with me.  The quote states;

"Don't fall into the trap of seeking approval.  

Do the thing things that you want to do, and then tell people."

This quote hit me because I feel like it relates strongly to my personal life.  I proposed to Chris because I wanted to, and we celebrated with family via webcam on Thanksgiving way back in 2010.  We continued our engagement despite the hard and downright cruel things that came our way and we came through happy and together on the other side, despite the hurtful advice that people gave.  Me, learning to say "I'm not happy about _______" to others, and subsequently trying to change my circumstances, even though it may be considered a foolish decision to those with their eye on the compensation rather than the quality of life.

Living life unapologetically is something I will be doing more of.  I will resist the impulse to apologize for decisions that I make for my benefit and the benefit of those I love.  It is simply nobody's concern whether I make the "right" choices.  Who is anyone else to know what is right for another person?  

We were charged by Lara with the task of filtering the "noise" of distractions and negative influences in our lives.  Many people started by committing to clearing out their social media feeds of those who spread negativity.  Personally, I was amongst this group regarding Facebook and Instagram.  I also proceeded to unsubscribe from an embarrassing amount of listservs and store newsletters.  

In terms of business, acknowledging that seeking approval of others often comes from comparison.  Comparison can kill your heart, and make you squander your creative talents on the already-done.  If I spend hours on social media and I see that the internet has collectively deemed something as interesting and successful in that moment, it's harder to be willing to take the leap into crazy-awesome creative.  Being innovative is harder when little voices in your mind say to just give it up, that's not what the people want.  But we should give the previously un-done a try.  

This is what brings light to the world.

Want to hear more?  Just wait for Part 2: Authenticity to come later this week.

Love and Light,

Alyssa

P.S. Already feel inspired to attend?  Check our the fall registration for this intensive and get the earlybird pricing!  It is worth it, I promise you.

Goal Setting: March/April

 We are a bit late about posting our April goals...but for good reason, I promise!

I just returned from the Making Things Happen intensive in Chapel Hill, North Carolina on the 2nd, and had to work during standardized testing (blegh) on the 3rd and 4th, leaving me little time to regroup, recoup, and recap.

Perhaps March's bouquet will make everything better.  Yup, I feel better already.

To recap...

March Goals:

• Bouquet of the month for March  Check out the blog post here.
• Find Chris' wedding suit!  It is a slim cut, medium blue dream!
• Order invitations and response cards for the wedding.  They have arrived, and I'll begin addressing them early to avoid running out of time.
• Twice per week blogging presence.  Trying harder!  (I think it's time to re-evaluate this one.  My day job is not helpful in this aspect.)
• Create and refine core values for Demure Birch Design  (More to come on this soon.)
• Make Chris' 26th birthday on March 22 a wonderful day!  Dinner and the new Muppet movie and lots of candy and movie theater popcorn.  We had a great time!
• Register for wedding gifts  Now, deciding on a color of KitchenAid mixer will be tough...
• Ask a dear friend to officiate the wedding  She said yes and we couldn't be more honored.
• Go see the movie Divergent and try not to scream/cry/explode from excitement.  Saw it, not pleased.  I've read the series about 7 times and am a stickler for sticking to details.

March was pretty successful!  The big things happened, and I'm not beating myself up over the blogging goal.  I am doing what I can with the time that I have, and that's all that matters.

Looking forward, I have two more things on my radar this spring.

Countdown to Trouvaille Workshop: 8 days (Check out the #trouvailleworkshop on social media to get giddy with me about this event!)

Countdown to Floral Intensive I and II at Longwood Gardens: 54 days

April Goals:

• Craft and refine what exactly my client experience will include for multiple packages
• Find jewelry for my bridesmaid gifts
• Help Chris to choose a tie for the wedding, also as a gift to the groomsmen
• Take invitations to the post office to weigh them, and buy stamps
• Apply to an interim job for the summer season
• April's bouquet of the month
• Enjoy the Trouvaille Workshop with all that Rhi of Hey Gorgeous Events has to offer!
• Recap MTH and Trouvaille on the blog

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, friends!  

Love and Light,

Alyssa