MTH Recap Part 2: Authenticity Is Key

In creating a business, in creating a brand, making something tangible and easy to explain, it is so hard to not look to others and straight up copy them.  Seeing success, or at least what looks like success, and wanting it so badly stifles the creativity that I had when I began dreaming up Demure Birch Design.  Not only would it be poor form to copy anyone's anything, but it would be a lie to myself and to prospective clients.  It would be a disservice to those who are pushing me and cheering me on to be anything but myself.

Authenticity is key - one of the many things that was discussed at Making Things Happen.  Once again, Lara Casey said it succinctly and well:

"Consider the opportunities that you are losing by not being authentic to the world."

This one hit me in the gut.  Showing my true self, being authentic and sharing what matters most to me with my clients and with my loved ones is a scary and dangerous move.  The thoughts immediately play out in my head.  What if they don't like me?  What if they change their minds?  What if they disagree with my thoughts?  What if they are not accepting?

And that is where the real human connection is made - in the vulnerability of authentic interaction.  Getting a true glimpse of who a person is, sharing what drives you, communicating your core to others.  This is the heart of true interaction that is authentic.  But it takes a leap of faith and some real courage.

As a person who truly detests small talk, the point of being authentic really rang true to my core.  As an introverted person, I thrive on deep conversations about ideas and things that people think about.  Small talk bores me.  It gives me nothing to latch on to, and it does nothing to spark my thoughts about how I relate to others in this wide world.  But deep conversations, about life and love and the things that you hate and adore, and what changes you think should be made to the world?  Those are just the best.  Those talks tell me who you are.  Those talks develop me as a person.

This is what being authentic is all about.  Sure, small talk is never going to disappear.  But I can't help but think that sometimes the small talk is really just nervousness about judgement from others coming out in word form.  If we stick to the insignificant, we don't necessarily open ourselves up to the criticism or scrutiny of others.  We stay safe.  And the vulnerability of authenticity is so scary!  Why would we venture there?

I need to venture there, and stay there because it feeds my heart and soul and lights my mind on fire.  Authenticity and the deepness of people is amazing territory and I want to explore it all.  

For my business, my authenticity is crucial to offering clients a person who cares deeply about their experience, and not just a person making a buck.  Authenticity is where the love story comes out, the details spill forth, and the day is reflected back to you as, well, you.  Not the perfect painting, but the imperfectly perfect reflection of love.

Love and Light,

Alyssa

MTH Recap Part 1: Filter the Noise

After attending the Making Things Happen Workshop in lovely Chapel Hill, North Carolina, I took several days to process what I had learned and what I heard others say.  Making Things Happen was an emotionally intense goal setting seminar, and attendees were encouraged to stay in focused head space throughout the daily talks from various creatives and also throughout meal times.  The primary focus of this workshop was really diving in and getting to the core of what matters, and harnessing your core to put changes and plans into action.

The quote from the gracious and open founder of the workshop, Lara Casey, particularly resonated with me.  The quote states;

"Don't fall into the trap of seeking approval.  

Do the thing things that you want to do, and then tell people."

This quote hit me because I feel like it relates strongly to my personal life.  I proposed to Chris because I wanted to, and we celebrated with family via webcam on Thanksgiving way back in 2010.  We continued our engagement despite the hard and downright cruel things that came our way and we came through happy and together on the other side, despite the hurtful advice that people gave.  Me, learning to say "I'm not happy about _______" to others, and subsequently trying to change my circumstances, even though it may be considered a foolish decision to those with their eye on the compensation rather than the quality of life.

Living life unapologetically is something I will be doing more of.  I will resist the impulse to apologize for decisions that I make for my benefit and the benefit of those I love.  It is simply nobody's concern whether I make the "right" choices.  Who is anyone else to know what is right for another person?  

We were charged by Lara with the task of filtering the "noise" of distractions and negative influences in our lives.  Many people started by committing to clearing out their social media feeds of those who spread negativity.  Personally, I was amongst this group regarding Facebook and Instagram.  I also proceeded to unsubscribe from an embarrassing amount of listservs and store newsletters.  

In terms of business, acknowledging that seeking approval of others often comes from comparison.  Comparison can kill your heart, and make you squander your creative talents on the already-done.  If I spend hours on social media and I see that the internet has collectively deemed something as interesting and successful in that moment, it's harder to be willing to take the leap into crazy-awesome creative.  Being innovative is harder when little voices in your mind say to just give it up, that's not what the people want.  But we should give the previously un-done a try.  

This is what brings light to the world.

Want to hear more?  Just wait for Part 2: Authenticity to come later this week.

Love and Light,

Alyssa

P.S. Already feel inspired to attend?  Check our the fall registration for this intensive and get the earlybird pricing!  It is worth it, I promise you.

Goal Setting: March/April

 We are a bit late about posting our April goals...but for good reason, I promise!

I just returned from the Making Things Happen intensive in Chapel Hill, North Carolina on the 2nd, and had to work during standardized testing (blegh) on the 3rd and 4th, leaving me little time to regroup, recoup, and recap.

Perhaps March's bouquet will make everything better.  Yup, I feel better already.

To recap...

March Goals:

• Bouquet of the month for March  Check out the blog post here.
• Find Chris' wedding suit!  It is a slim cut, medium blue dream!
• Order invitations and response cards for the wedding.  They have arrived, and I'll begin addressing them early to avoid running out of time.
• Twice per week blogging presence.  Trying harder!  (I think it's time to re-evaluate this one.  My day job is not helpful in this aspect.)
• Create and refine core values for Demure Birch Design  (More to come on this soon.)
• Make Chris' 26th birthday on March 22 a wonderful day!  Dinner and the new Muppet movie and lots of candy and movie theater popcorn.  We had a great time!
• Register for wedding gifts  Now, deciding on a color of KitchenAid mixer will be tough...
• Ask a dear friend to officiate the wedding  She said yes and we couldn't be more honored.
• Go see the movie Divergent and try not to scream/cry/explode from excitement.  Saw it, not pleased.  I've read the series about 7 times and am a stickler for sticking to details.

March was pretty successful!  The big things happened, and I'm not beating myself up over the blogging goal.  I am doing what I can with the time that I have, and that's all that matters.

Looking forward, I have two more things on my radar this spring.

Countdown to Trouvaille Workshop: 8 days (Check out the #trouvailleworkshop on social media to get giddy with me about this event!)

Countdown to Floral Intensive I and II at Longwood Gardens: 54 days

April Goals:

• Craft and refine what exactly my client experience will include for multiple packages
• Find jewelry for my bridesmaid gifts
• Help Chris to choose a tie for the wedding, also as a gift to the groomsmen
• Take invitations to the post office to weigh them, and buy stamps
• Apply to an interim job for the summer season
• April's bouquet of the month
• Enjoy the Trouvaille Workshop with all that Rhi of Hey Gorgeous Events has to offer!
• Recap MTH and Trouvaille on the blog

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, friends!  

Love and Light,

Alyssa

Making Things Happen - Prelude

As I write this post, I am on my layover in the airport in Atlanta, Georgia, waiting for my connecting flight to Raleigh-Durham.  If you had told me a year ago that I would be sitting here, waiting to arrive in Chapel Hill, North Carolina for the Making Things Happen Intensive, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.  I say “probably” because it’s really hard to think back to where I was a year ago, and what I was doing, how I was feeling, and what I wanted to do.

I bought my ticket for Making Things Happen on December 12, 2013, which wasn’t really all that long ago.  I’ve known and been prepared to attend for about 3.5 months, but I still don’t actually know what to expect.  I’ve read some wonderful recap blog posts from various attendees from last year and years before, but nobody has the exact same experience in anything in life, so it’s pointless to compare.  The only constant that has appeared across the anecdotes and reflections that I’ve read, is that transformational change occurs in some way.

In terms of goals and outcomes from MTH, I have no idea what I am wanting.  I also don’t know about making friends at thing conference – large groups of adults are generally discomforting to me, for whatever reason.

Things that I do know: our hotel, The Carolina Inn, is going to be absolutely homey and comfortable, my roommate is sweet and kind already, and that this will be an event like I’ve never experienced before. 

I’m looking ahead and looking to grow, and I’m looking forward to telling you all how the conference went.  Stay tuned later this week for a recap about the entire MTH experience!  Wish me luck.

Love and Light,

Alyssa

Grateful

There are a few things that are getting me through this week, and a few overdue notes of thanks that are due to some sweet friends out there.

• Getting kind and encouraging texts from a college friend on a Monday morning was just what I needed to relax at the beginning of a busy work week.  The students in my classes were pretty great all day, but it is hard for non teachers to really "get" the daily stressors in a teacher's life.  

• My roommate at work is the first non-Chris interaction I have each morning, and seeing her hard at work for our students, pushing them constantly, and having the same sense of distaste and humor that I do about lots of things makes for a pretty awesome work day.  Especially on the hard days.

• Another friend at work told me that she had a dream that I was running a flower stand at a convention center, wearing a yellow dress, busy helping a long line of customers.  I'll take that as a premonition! 

• Cute pictures that my mother sends me from the barn can really make me smile big.  Goats and horses are kind of adorable.

• All of the encouragement that the women who are soon attending the Making Things Happen intensive just blows my socks off.  It makes me ready to put in some hard work at the conference, knowing that I will find the support that I'll need.

What is making your days sweeter?

Love and Light,

Alyssa

Monthly Bouquet - March

Happy March, readers!

In one of my last posts, I spoke a bit about how February was sort of an off month for me.  Only having 28 days as opposed to 30 or 31 really seemed to make a difference this year.  I've come out of February with the desire to have a more clear focus and to keep my eye on the prize.  The prize?  Becoming my own boss and a successful business owner, that's the prize!

The floral goodness in the photos of this post were purchased at The Argyle Bouquet in Ardmore, PA.

Beautiful blue hydrangea, white ranunculus (with maroon edges - so gorgeous!), queen protea, brunia, and fern.  I also picked up some dusty miller from Whole Foods to add in as well.

 I have some pretty amazing events coming up in the near future.  I'm excited for some growth, personally and professionally.

Countdown to Making Things Happen Intensive: 27 days

Countdown to Trouvaille Workshop: 41 days

Countdown to Floral Intensive I and II at Longwood Gardens: 87 days

I recently made contact with one of Chris' friends from work who has their own photography business.  We are getting into plans of creating a styled shoot together in the near future.  I've never done anything like this before, so I'm actually kind of nervous, but she seems like a really kind person who would be wonderful to work with.  In our conversation this morning, we talked about a potential location, and I am planning on creating and adding to an inspiration board for the shoot today and tomorrow.  More to come on this soon!

For the rest of the day, I'll be busy getting work done, going out to purchase the next Martha Stewart Weddings issue, and cleaning up around the apartment.  Of course, lots of that time will be spent petting my sweet cat and finding a new book to fall into.  Enjoy the rest of your day, loves!

Love and light,

Alyssa

Goal Setting - February/March

February was not my month.

Between having copious amounts of time off of work and getting my days all mixed up, and having the winter blues in a hardcore way, February was not my month.  I played with flowers a few times, and I learned lots of new things about business licenses and advertising, but I didn't DO a lot of anything.

I did make this lovely bouquet for a work friend's girlfriend though.  

Ranunculus, wax flower, and gerbera daisies.

February Goals:

• Bouquet of the month (I sadly dropped the ball on this one.  Short month, right?)
• Find a wedding suit for Chris! (We know where we are purchasing it, and just need to go try a few on at the store.)
• Enjoy a weekend jaunt to Pittsburgh to get more wedding plans taken care of.
• Research business plans for advertising, branding, and licensing.
• Maintain a twice per week blogging presence. (This fell apart at the end of the month, but was really good for the first 2.5 weeks of February.)
• Comment on at least one photo per day on Instagram. (I am terrible at this.  I need a better way to track doing this, since I don't have my tending checklist with me all the time.)
• Ask a dear friend to officiate our wedding. (There is no rush on this, and it will be happening in March.)
• Nail down a rehearsal dinner venue.

March Goals:

• Bouquet of the month for March
• Find Chris' wedding suit!
• Order invitations and response cards for the wedding
• Twice per week blogging presence.  Trying harder!
• Create and refine core values for Demure Birch Design
• Make Chris' 26th birthday on March 22 a wonderful day!
• Register for wedding gifts
• Ask a dear friend to officiate the wedding
• Go see the movie Divergent and try not to scream/cry/explode from excitement.

Anyone else have some great goals out there, big or small?  I'd love to hear them!

Love and light,

Alyssa