A Gift

I’d like to talk to you all today about a gift.  This gift is something that people appreciate and often need desperately, but it’s something that lots of people are really forgetful at giving.  This gift is free to obtain, and takes up no space on the recipient’s shelf or desk.  This gift can be re-gifted without the new recipient even knowing that it was re-gifted, since it requires no new packaging.

What is this wonderful gift?

Listening.

In my recent month of attending workshops and classes for creative folks with small businesses, the only thing that I’ve really felt to be a challenge is reaching out and getting to know the people.  The wedding industry seems to thrive on collaboration and networking.  Making the connections to other people and having a mutually beneficial relationship seems to be the desire of many.  Building a friendship with someone who understands the challenges and the awesomeness of the business you’re in is a great way to surround yourself with a  supportive community of people who will push and encourage you.

As an introverted person, I love to listen.  I love to observe.  Not all introverts, or extroverts, are the same.  I can only speak for myself – and for myself, I prefer really focused, deep, meaningful discussions, with mutual respect and reverence for all individuals involved, and for all words said. 

The challenge lies within the conversation and the individuals – productive conversations and meaningful conversations are only such when all parties and words are respected and treated kindly.  I’ve had trouble finding this at times, inside and outside of the wedding industry. 

Another challenge in building relationships with others in the industry is that I am bringing less experience to the table than many other people.  Logistically and strategically, why would anyone want to hear my words?  As defeatist as that sounds, it does not appear from the outside that I have as much to offer someone else as an individual who is more established.  Despite the fact that I’m smart and capable, it’s hard to show that if I cannot get started on that relationship.  How would I start that connection? 

By talking, probably.  I don’t like to interrupt others, but sometimes that seems to be the only way to get a word in.  Lots of people interrupt me as I’m carefully stating my words, thinking about their meaning.

This post is definitely coming out of some weeks of thinking.  I also just wanted to examine this issue a little bit, and throw it out there to the Internet.  I can’t be the only person who feels this way.  Goodness knows I’m not the only person who gets interrupted.  And of course I’m not the only person out there with something to offer, in terms of friendship and business.

Some might say that this issue is tied to confidence.  I can hear them already.  Telling me to get out there and just make more friends, fake it until you make it, show them how confident you are by reaching out first, and how hard can it really be?

But sometimes it is hard.  It’s hard when that wonderful gift, listening, is not freely given.  Even if I have all the confidence in the world, I can’t make anyone do anything they don’t really want to do.  I also can’t make anyone realize that listening in itself is a gift.  And it’s also not a gift if you have to ask for it. 

What does everyone out there think?  Where are you on the listening scale?

Love and light,

Alyssa

Getting Un-Fancy

About a month ago, I stumbled upon a really fantastic fashion blog.  Before I divulge any more details, I feel that I really need to say that my thoughts about fashion and clothing have changed a lot in the past few years.

On a hike on the Wissahickon Trail, wearing my absolute favorite item.

Red rose scarf from Terrain.

If you'd spoken to me a year ago, I would have said that I didn't care about fashion or personal style, as long as I was comfortable and maintained a professional appearance.  I would have also told you (and to this day, still believe) that I was wearing a lot of high-quality hand me downs from my mother.  Happily, we're the same size in clothing sometimes, which really set me up for a good starter set of clothes for a professional wardrobe.  However, I would have said little to nothing about what my personal style was.  Honestly, I'm still figuring that out!  With the help of some virtual inspiration and guidance, I'm getting there.

Enter Caroline of Caroline Joy Photography and, her newest venture, Un-Fancy.

Un-Fancy is a blog in which Caroline displays and documents her capsule wardrobe, and the outfits that she creates during each capsule season.

I know what you're thinking - what the heck is a capsule wardrobe?

There are several different definitions that you can find online.  Loosely, a capsule wardrobe is a collection of clothing pieces that can be interchanged efficiently, to create numerous different outfits. But isn't that any wardrobe?

The definition that you'll find most often today is that a capsule wardrobe is a compilation of pieces of clothing, ranging from 33 to 37 items, that the individual wears in a season.  Spring's capsule would be different than autumn's capsule, for example, because of the temperature difference (at least in my neck of the woods).  If you want to see another definition, check out Caroline's definition and this article too.

When I began reading up on this idea, the first thing that went through my head was, "Wow.  That sounds like a lot of clothing for just one season!"

The second thing I thought was, "I want to love all of my clothes, and right now, I could probably donate some things that I haven't recently worn."

Want to know what I did after that?  In my next blog post about my capsule wardrobe, I'll be talking about the pitfall I fell into with my capsule wardrobe before I even truly got started.

Love and light,

Alyssa

Trio

Prompted by sweet Rhi of Hey Gorgeous Events, attendees of the Trouvaille Workshop were instructed to think of three words that describe our businesses.  These three words are constantly up for revision, and subject to change based on changes that naturally occur while running a business.

Words have power.  These words should reflect you and the things that make you you.  Words that reflect your branding, what sets you apart from others in the industry.  Words that can be associated with you in all that you do.  I feel like it was really challenging to come up with three words, and I know that I am not alone in this feeling!  But I do love a challenge that makes me think.  If words have power and great weight to them, you shouldn't just pick the first word that comes to mind.  Revise it.  "Pretty" isn't going to set you apart.  "Classy" isn't going to set you apart.  Pick a $10 word and not a ten-cent word.

This is about the fifth draft of my words, and I am still not sure whether or not I am getting them right.  I do like them, but the beauty of it all is that I can change them.  I am in control and the changes that I make reflect who I am and what my ideal clients are looking for.

Cultivated

I am extremely judicious in determining the details of any element of an event.

The event and the details are a holistic reflection of the couple.

Intimate

I prefer deep conversations to small talk.

I am invested in understanding my couples, their history, and their desires for their future.

I want to invest deeply in the first day of your married history.

Comprehensive

There will be a sense of completion to your vision for your wedding day 

across the ceremony, florals, attire, atmosphere, and all other elements.

No stone will be left unturned, and I will plan to circumvent any issue on your behalf.

These three words were not the first three that I thought of!  I literally wrote and wrote in my notebook to brainstorm any three words, and then through lots of angry pen scratches, thesaurus consultations, and talking out loud, they were the last ones standing.

What are your three words?

Love and light,

Alyssa

Goal Setting: April/May

What a busy month.  I feel like I didn't work a day in April at my day job, since I was away so frequently for workshops and other learning.  But what a productive month it was.  We just finished our state testing at my school, and let me tell you something.

State mandated standardized testing takes a toll on teachers too.  It's so frustrating to not be allowed to pronounce words for my students who speak Spanish at home, and only English at school.  It's frustrating that we're not allowed to drink water while proctoring tests for 3 hours at a time.  It's frustrating when I can't ask students to reconsider answers that I know and can obviously see are incorrect, but could be corrected with a little pushing.  And it's also just plain boring.  Not allowed to read or write, or really do anything while the kids are testing.  Which means, I must walk in a continuous circle (since we aren't permitted to sit) for the entire testing time.  Blegh.

But it's over.  And it's May!  Glorious.

Let's recap.

April Goals:

• Craft and refine what exactly my client experience will include for multiple packages (This is a huge work in progress!)
• Find jewelry for my bridesmaid gifts (Proving to be challenging.  Any recommendations, ladies?)
• Help Chris to choose a tie for the wedding, also as a gift to the groomsmen
• Take invitations to the post office to weigh them, and buy stamps
• Apply to an interim job for the summer season I'll be volunteering somewhere awesome!  More on this soon!
• April's bouquet of the month (This didn't happen.  But I did play with a ton of flowers.)
• Enjoy the Trouvaille Workshop with all that Rhi of Hey Gorgeous Events has to offer!
• Recap MTH and Trouvaille on the blog MTH: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.  Trouvaille: Part 1.  More on Trouvaille will be headed to the blog soon!

Some wonderful MTH photos below were posted to our Facebook group.  Aren't they lovely?  The awesome conference photographer, Robin Van Dyke Photography, did an excellent job!  Their team was hustling the entire two days to get some great images of all the happenings going around at The Carolina Inn.

There I am, writing some really personal info on a whiteboard for all attendees to see.  

But it was so good and necessary.

My breakout group, led by Amber Houseley and Karen Stott, pictured above.

Karen, leading us in the important work of the conference.

All of us together on a sunny North Carolina afternoon!

Onward to May!

May Goals:

• Apply for an EIN in order to obtain access to wholesale florist
• Bridesmaid jewelry questing
• Bouquet of the month for May
• Remember to relax as the academic year winds down.  Don't get crazy stressed out.
• Enjoy and learn from my upcoming floral design workshop at Longwood Gardens
• Mail invitations to wedding guests
• Decide on gifts for our parents for the wedding
• Work with our sweet friend who is officiating to craft our ceremony
• Begin drafting wedding vows with Chris!

May is going to be a sweet, sweet month.  More sunshine, more outdoors time, more wedding excitement, and more iced coffee and flowers!  I can't be stressed in a world with all that.  And my cat.

Love 'N Fresh Flowers Flower Child Workshop Recap

Right outside of Philadelphia, there is a sweet little flower farm off of a dirt road.  I don't live too far from this place, but I only just visited it on Saturday for a flower crown workshop.  The place?  The flower farm where Jennie Love of Love 'N Fresh Flowers makes beautiful creations.

What do you do at a flower crown workshop?  You make flower crowns!  You also get to wander the property, look at some pretty flowers that are still in the early stages of growing, and check in with some cute ducks.

Jennie has the sweetest little workshop at the flower farm!  I am totally jealous of the work space, and also that it is in such a nice, undisturbed area of northeast Philly.

My flower crown was mostly white ranunculus and grape hyacinth, but we had so many different options!  There were hellebores, tulips, anemones, lamb's ear, daffodils, and many more things to cut right out of the ground.

The cool thing was that everyone made such different creations, despite being given access to the same materials!   This is where designing can be so fun and diverse.  Nobody's crown looked just the same as anyone else's, but everyone's crown was beautiful!

Did I mention yet that there were delicious snacks to munch on throughout the workshop?  Brie and crackers and sparkling water and white wine?  Yes please!

All of the attendees were so sweet and joyful to be around for the afternoon.  We all had a great time and enjoyed learning together.  See what I mean by all of the crowns being completely different?  So awesome!

Like I said, mostly white ranunculus and grape hyacinth were in my crown.  I couldn't decide between the natural linen ribbon or the blue silk ribbon, so I used both!  I love how they look together.  I also used two large pink ranunculus as a focal point on one side of my crown, and I love how they turned out.

The master herself, Jennie!  She was so sweet, encouraging, and hospitable the entire time we were there, and I think that shows a lot about how much she seems to love teaching others.  I think it's a big deal to make students feel supported and validated while they're learning, and even though there are bigger risks than flower crown making (or are there?), we were all laughing and complimenting each other the entire time.  Great learning environment for sure!  I came away with a pretty crown and lots of valuable hands on experience.  I also have several notes that will be beneficial to my work in the future.

Interested in taking a workshop with Jennie?  Check out her schedule on her website!

What flowers would you want to wear in your crown?

Love and light,

Alyssa